It didn’t take long for video game developers to figure out their target audience and cater directly to them with busty, beautiful, drool-worthy womens. But we all know it’s what these ladies have on the inside (polygons, FYI) that counts. Click to see my picks for The Sessiest Ladies of Video Games.
Alyx Vance of Half Life II
Alyx seems like the type of girl you could really chill with (when she’s not busy bustin’ up on zombies). She’s intelligent, friendly and smoking hot in that girl-next-door-who-can-easily-beat-your-ass way. Also, speaking of butts: dayum! I would follow dat booty to the ends of the earth.
Mai Shiranui of KOF/Fatal Fury
Mai Shiranui is a serious K.O. (!!!!) To some of you, this might be a matter of debate since I chose her in favor of the also beloved Chun-Li. Depending on whether you prefer breasts or thighs (hint: I’m not talking about KFC) is probably directly related to which of the two you’d pick, so I suggest that we just agree to disagree.
Tifa Lockhart of the Final Fantasy Franchise
This one’s a no brainer. Tifa’s got that sweet-adorable-hot thing down pat and she can also put the serious hurt on you (but she wouldn’t, ’cause she’s such a freaking angel!).
Princess Zelda of the Legend of Zelda Franchise
As much of an A-hole as Ganondorf is, can you blame him? I would kidnap rescue Zelda over and over again till the end of time! She’s powerful, magical and she gets extra points because she manages to be a total hottie while keeping things classy (read: not a skank).
Samus Aran of the Metroid Franchise
Number one favorite BAMF cybernetically-enhanced human. I still remember when the Power Suit disappeared at the end of Metroid and I was all “WHAAA? I thought you was a man!” My girl Samus looks her best in her Zero Suit or — OR — wearing zero suits, amirite?!
Elaine Marley of the Monkey Island Franchise
The sassy, smart, sword-swinging, swashbuckling mayor of Melee Island: a damsel in distress she is not. A hot little number? Absolutely. What’s not to love?
Note: Elaine only beat The Voodoo Lady juuuust by a hair. Just don’t tell that to Elaine, kthx.
Princess Peach of Mario Bros Franchise
We’ve been rescuing little Peach since she was just an 8-bit Princess and she has continued to mature into a full-blown honey. A definite honorable mention to her brunette sis, Daisy. Aw hell, you two girls can share the honor, why not? (I’m feeling generous today.)
Bikini Zombies of Dead Island
Oh, we’re just some zombie-girlfriends chilling at the pool, catching some rays, playing beach volley ball — don’t mind us!
Check out these babes! There are few things hotter than a bunch of bikini-clad, slightly decayed, undead chicks on spring break.
Ms. Pac-Man of Pac-Man
There ain’t a foxier lady in the history of games than Ms. Pac-Man herself. And her lack of taking the “next step” with Mr. Pac-Man gives gamers hope there still might be a chance with her. What a tease!
Note: This is just a list of my personal preferences. Feel free to claim your favorite virtual vixens in the comments!